handsful

Orphanage visit day. Something we both wanted to do, but were apprehensive about doing.

There were 2 other families with us – a little boy from Dylan’s room and another mom who has a son from Luoyang but was never able to visit the orphanage. (The boy she just recently adopted is from an orphanage too far away to visit). We split the cost of a van and driver and our guide Rita was also with us.

It’s a 2 hour drive, and Dylan spent his time writing in mama’s notebook, snacking, and playing with his other toys. I asked Rita to please explain what we were doing to Dylan…I wanted him to understand we were NOT leaving him.

We enjoyed watching the scenery change from big city to wide open spaces with farm land and cave homes built right in the side of the mountain.

Field, with a large tomb in the middle. You can see here how bad the air quality really is. It’s extremely dry and dusty.

As we neared Luoyang, it became city again – not as large of Zhengzhou, but almost as busy.

As we pulled up to the entrance, Dylan got very excited and exclaimed something. Rita told us he said something about “being home”. Uh oh.

We were met in the lobby by some ayis (nannies) and I think someone who works in the administration of the orphanage. We gave them our donations, and then were taken to see several rooms, most with little babies and toddlers. My first impression…how much the halls smelled of urine. I eventually got used to it.

It was lunch time, so many of the children were away. I had 7 children to find for waiting mamas, and our guide made sure we found and photographed all we could (2 were in foster care, and weren’t there). All of them were such beautiful children, and I’m so thankful that they each have families waiting anxiously for them.

We were able to see Dylan’s playroom and take pictures and video. Then, we walked to a room with 6 cribs, and were shown which one Dylan slept in. Megan and I were excited to find out that her son Jack and Dylan’s cribs were end to end, so they definitely knew each other (which it had already seemed that way). Suddenly, I saw that Dylan was crying. Quietly, but with fear and almost panic in his eyes. I quickly called out to Rita to help explain…we were only here to visit, this doesn’t mean we’re leaving him here, he’s going home with mama and baba. Rita, who is wonderful by the way, stroked his head and explained it all and he calmed down. My eyes were full of tears, just seeing him go through that. No wonder he’s been afraid of his crib – he has bad memories of night time at his orphanage, like so many other adoptive children do. Night time can be scary for any child, but for a child who has laid in his crib in the dark, not knowing if anyone will come if they cry…it makes me so sad. I pray that leaving that room with him is the first step in showing him that his orphanage days are behind him.

An adoptive family traveling before us donated these cribs after they returned home. So, I don’t think Dylan was in his (far right, in the back) for long. The picture I received of him sleeping not too long ago showed him in an old metal crib.

Dylan blowing a kiss to an ayi. I kept him in the Ergo carrier, which made sure he stayed in my arms. I think the ayis understand this.

These young girls (possibly teachers at the orphanage) were thrilled to see Dylan. The one on the far left was one of the orphanage workers with him on Gotcha day – she reached to pick him up and an older woman in back of her shouted something that stopped her – she smiled like she understood and then they talked excitedly to Dylan for a few minutes. He was loved, we can see that.

His playroom – all the kids are at lunch.

We were then met by one of the directors of the orphanage in the hall, and she escorted us to a meeting room. We all sat around a large table with water bottles, fruit, and peanuts awaiting us. We sat down and the other main director of the orphanage joined us. He told us how much he appreciated us giving these children loving homes, and how he knows they will now have a bright future. The female director asked us if there was anything we could do to improve things, and also expressed her gratitude for parenting these children. We asked how many children had been adopted from Luoyang so far this year and were told 80. Fantastic! The gentleman director then stood, and picked up a large scroll. He unrolled it, and it was a gorgeous hand painting of peony flowers…Luoyang is known for it’s peonies and has a popular peony festival each year. Then he floored us by saying that he had one of these scrolls for each of us as a thank you gift. Our jaws dropped…Randy said “is that for us??”. It’s obviously our most treasured souvenier yet.

Our guide Rita is in the orange coat. The lady seated on the right is one of the orphanage directors.

But, he wasn’t done. He then offered to host our lunch at a local restaurant that serves traditional Luoyang food. We piled back in the van, and drove a short way to the restaurant. We sat in a private room, with waitresses bringing in dish after dish to the huge lazy susan in the table. Now, I’ve had several meals so far in Chinese restaurants while here, and have always managed to find things I like. It was harder this time – very unrecognizable things, broiled fish with heads on, very interesting. I finally settled on nibbling on a spring roll, fried noodles, sweet and sour tiny potatoes, and some sliced spicy beef. The director was having a grand time…he toasted us many times, and then explained that since we’d adopted Luoyang children, that we were now part of the family. He then picked us out one by one and told us “who” we were….little sisters, brothers-in-law, etc. It was a hoot. Dylan was in great form today, doing his best to get all the attention by being silly and cute. It was working.

Cheers! The man at the head of the table is the main director…he was quite a character. Toasting every few minutes it seemed!

We gestured that we’d like a picture with him, and he snatched Dylan right up and posed. Dylan, of course, gives his signature peace pose.

Soon, our lunch was over and we were off again. Rita took us to see each of our children’s finding places. The entrance to an underground shopping center, the train station, and finally the entrance to the out-patient building of the Luoyang Central hospital. She took our picture there. So many people milling around, we assume Dylan was left at night.

The 2 hour ride back was mostly silent at first…lots of things to think about and our children were exhausted and snoozing in our arms. We were all happy to arrive back at the hotel.

So, it was an amazing day, and incredibly hard too. But, we know it was worth it to see our child’s home for his first 3+ years, and hopefully worth it for him to realize he’s no longer there, but now with us.